You’re sitting in a project meeting. It’s tense. Deadlines are looming, budgets are tightening, and everyone seems more focused on defending their position than actually hearing the other side. The contractor raises an issue about delays, and before they’ve even finished, the employer is already formulating a rebuttal in their head. The engineer sits quietly, waiting to chime in, but the conversation is already spiraling. Sound familiar?

We’ve all been there — tempers flare, words fly, and instead of solving problems, we end up stuck in conflict. And in construction, where millions of dollars are at risk, the stakes are higher.

This is where active listening comes in — a simple, yet powerful tool that can turn a heated discussion into a constructive conversation. If you’re a contractor, an employer, or part of a Dispute Board (DB), mastering this skill can mean the difference between a successful project and a drawn-out dispute.

But why do these miscommunications happen so often? That’s where the FAIR Model comes in.

Understanding the FAIR Model: How Misunderstandings Take Root

Before we dive deeper into active listening, let’s quickly explore why communication can go wrong so easily.

You may have heard of the 4-Ears Model by Friedemann Schulz von Thun. It’s a communication theory that suggests every message has four layers of meaning, and what someone hears depends on which “ear” they’re using to listen. We like to call it the FAIR Model because of the more meaningful acronym it presents.*

Imagine you’re at dinner, and your partner says, “There’s something green in the soup.” Simple, right? Well, not quite. Here’s how it can be interpreted based on the FAIR Model:

• Factual:          "There’s something green in the soup."
• Appeal:           "Can you fix this?"
• Introspection: "I’m not sure if this is safe to eat."
• Relationship:  "You didn’t prepare this properly."

Even a harmless comment can be taken in many ways, depending on the listener’s state of mind or expectations.

This model helps explain why active listening is so crucial. It ensures that you’re truly hearing the speaker's intent — not just reacting to your assumptions.

What Is Active Listening (And Why Is It So Hard)?

Now that we understand how easily communication can go wrong, let’s talk about active listening — a tool that can prevent these misunderstandings. It’s not just about hearing words; it’s about fully engaging with the speaker, understanding the underlying message, and responding with empathy.

In a construction meeting, for example, a contractor might say, “We’re behind schedule because of the design changes.” Without active listening, the employer might jump to conclusions, thinking, "Here come the excuses". But with active listening, they would pause, ask clarifying questions, and show understanding of the contractor’s frustrations.

Active listening means activating the PEACE Formula:

• Paraphrasing:             Restate the other person’s statement in your own words.
• Empathy:                    Put yourself in the other’s shoes to better understand.
• Accommodate:           Give the other space to express themselves.
• Clarify:                        Ask open-ended questions to dig deeper into the issue.
• Encourage:                 Motivate the other to continue sharing their concerns

By fully engaging, we not only understand the facts but also the emotions behind them. This is where active listening becomes a powerful tool for dispute avoidance.

Why Active Listening Matters in Construction Projects

In the fast-paced world of construction, the smallest miscommunication can quickly snowball into a major conflict.

Think of a scenario where an employer says, “You didn’t pour that concrete yesterday as you said you would”. Without active listening, the contractor might hear criticism and react defensively: “I am not late, it was your Engineer that obstructed me”. The employer, on the other hand, might simply be stating a fact. This gap in understanding can lead to tension and, eventually, disputes.

Now imagine if the contractor actively listens and responds, “I understand you’re concerned about possible delays. Let’s discuss how we can address this.” This small shift from reacting to listening can stop a dispute before it even begins.

Active listening helps to defuse emotionally charged situations, ensuring both parties feel heard and understood, which keeps projects moving forward smoothly.

Dispute Boards: Guardians of Communication

If you’re part of a Dispute Board (DB), active listening isn’t just a tool — it’s essential.

DBs are brought in to manage or resolve conflicts, but the real magic happens when they proactively guide communication, helping parties avoid disputes altogether. A well-timed question or paraphrase can shift a heated conversation into one focused on solutions.

Picture this: A DB is conducting a site visit, and tension between the contractor and the employer is palpable. The contractor mentions a problem with resource allocation, but the employer brushes it off. A DB member might step in and say, “Let’s pause here. I’d like to understand more about this issue.” By actively listening, the DB creates space for both sides to air their concerns, helping to resolve potential disputes before they escalate.

Practical Steps for Active Listening in Construction Disputes

To practice active listening in your construction project meetings, here are some simple but effective steps:

1. Be Present: Focus fully on the speaker — no distractions.
2. Paraphrase: Summarise what you’ve heard to confirm understanding. "So, you're saying the design delays are causing issues with the supplier?"
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of a yes/no question, try, "Can you explain more about the delays and what led to them?"
4. Use Non-Verbal Cues: Nod, maintain eye contact, and show that you’re engaged with what the speaker is saying.
5. Stay Respectful: Do not use negative body language such as eye-rolling.
6. Stay Open-Minded: Don’t jump to conclusions. Even if you don’t agree with what’s being said, give the speaker the chance to fully explain their side.
7. Summarise: After the conversation, summarise the key points to ensure clarity and agreement. "If I’m hearing you correctly, we’ll reassign resources to meet the new timeline, and you’ll provide updates weekly."

By using these techniques, not only do you avoid unnecessary conflict, but you also build stronger, more productive relationships.

Conclusion: Listening Isn’t Just Hearing, It’s Understanding

Active listening is one of the most powerful tools you can use to prevent disputes in construction projects. By truly engaging with what’s being said — not just the words but the emotions behind them — you open the door to better communication, fewer misunderstandings, and more successful project outcomes.

So next time you’re in a meeting and the tension rises, remember: Often, the best thing you can do is to just listen (actively).

*the FAIR Model sounds like something that needs a citing source because someone smart developed it, but it is indeed 'ours', so (c) C2S Campus in this case ;-)